Let’s take a minute to think about those kinky people in the world that happen to be dating vanilla partners. There’s going to come a time when that kinky person is going to feel completely unfulfilled and unhappy with his or her sex life. It’s something that can happen to both men and women, and it gets worse when it’s a fetish that’s not being fulfilled.
It’s not a Bad Thing
It’s important to first realize that there’s nothing wrong with choosing to enter into a relationship with someone who doesn’t share your kink or fetish and it happens all the time. Just because a person doesn’t share the same sexual desires as you doesn’t mean you’re not going to be 100% compatible in all other areas of your lives. It’s just a very difficult position to find yourself in.
Lying doesn’t work for Long
Most people are going to try to hide their kinks or fetishes, but that’s not going to last very long. It’s going to be much worse for the fetishists out there, and this is another example of why it’s important to understand the difference between the two.
Fetishist can’t Cum
A fetishist is a person, male or female, who needs their fetish fulfilled in order to achieve orgasm during sex. That means that any fetishist in a relationship with a person that doesn’t share it is never going to be able to actually have an orgasm during their sexual liaisons. Any man or woman dating, or married to, a non-fetishists is going to go years without being able to cum during sex if they choose to hide it. Fetishists are going to have a much more difficult time bringing up their needs, so that’s going to be a post all on its own at some point.
Kinksters need Excitement
For the people into kink, it’s going to be a little bit different. These people are simply going to be so bored and unfulfilled with the relationship that they’re never going to be happy for the long haul. That’s when the idea of cheating on your partner begins to sound very appealing.
When to bring it up
If you’re in one of these relationships, then you might be trying to figure out when the best time to bring up your kink might be. The simple fact is that no one else can tell you that. Knowing when to bring up kink is always going to be unique to your relationship, although, take this advice: It’s NEVER a good idea to bring up long simmering relationship problems in the heat of an argument. That will never work out in a good way!
Introduce it Slowly
One of the best ways to bring up kink with your partner is to do it slowly in the bedroom. You have to be ready to play the long game here. No matter what your kink happens to be, add it in micro doses whenever you have sex with your partner. Pay attention to their reactions. You’ll likely never get to a place where you can enjoy 100% of your kink with your vanilla partner, but you might just end up with enough.