Okay, so we’re all here and we all want to have a kinky good time, but what exactly does that mean? What is kink and why is it called the thing that it’s called? Is it a good thing? Is it a bad thing? Does it matter? Does everyone have a kink? Do very few people have one? Simply put, and at the end of the day, what is kink? Well, let’s take a look as try to figure it out together. That’s really what it’s all about, after all. If you disagree, or have your own definitions, let us know down in the comments!
A Very Accurate Definition
First up, let’s take a look at the actual definition of the word, at least according to Wikipedia. It’s a little long, but it’s also important, so try to read it all:
“In human sexuality, kinkiness is the use of non-conventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies. The term derives from the idea of a “bend” (cf. a “kink”) in one’s sexual behavior, to contrast such behavior with “straight” or “vanilla” sexual mores and proclivities. It is thus a colloquial term for non-normative sexual behavior. The term “kink” has been claimed by some who practice sexual fetishism as a term or synonym for their practices, indicating a range of sexual practices from playful to sexual objectification and certain paraphilia. In the 21st century the term “kink”, along with expressions like BDSM, leather and fetish, has become more commonly used than the term paraphilia. Some universities also feature student organizations focused on kinks, within the context of wider LGBTQ concerns.
Kink sexual practices go beyond what are considered conventional sexual practices as a means of heightening the intimacy between sexual partners. Some draw a distinction between kink and fetishism, defining the former as enhancing partner intimacy, and the latter as replacing it. Because of its relation to conformist sexual boundaries, which themselves vary by time and place, the definition of what is and is not a kink varies widely as well.
In a study published in 2016 it was found that nearly half of respondents reported an interest in some form of paraphilia and about a third had engaged in paraphilic behavior at least once.”
Non-normative sexual behavior
So let’s try to break that down a little bit. The big part that stands out to most people is the section about “non-normative sexual behavior.” That means that kink can be considered to be something that’s strange or weird. It’s at least something that’s odd and uncommon. We’re calling bullshit on that part. Nothing is more normal than the act of being abnormal. It’s what most people believe themselves to be. If everyone is abnormal, then what’s normal in the first place? The term loses all of its meaning when you scratch it just a tiny little bit.
The simple fact is that pretty much everyone has some sort of kink or fetish. They don’t even have to know about it, but it’s going to be there. It doesn’t have to be a desire to wear a chomping bit and have your ass whipped by someone in a leather suit. It just has to be what you like that most other people don’t enjoy as much as you do. That’s really what it’s all about.
Vanilla doesn’t Exist
The term “vanilla” gets thrown around a lot but it’s not actually a thing. There’s no vanilla model that you have to compare yourself against to determine how odd and kinky you happen to be. If you look at yourself as some sort of an advanced being because you like to have sex with feet then you’re very wrong. Everyone has their own sexual desire and that’s perfectly okay. There’s no real reason to stigmatize something so common with an “us vs. them” mentality. It doesn’t matter if you view yourself as kinky or vanilla, you’re welcome to explore your sexual desires right here.
Be comfortable with your Kinks
The most important take away is to be comfortable with your own kinks and able to identify them as what they are, even if you don’t view them as kinks. It doesn’t matter how mundane you may view it. If you like the simple act of having your ear nibbled on then you have a kink that’s worthy of being shared here. How much of it you share is up to you, but you can find other people that enjoy it just as much as you do!