You can’t talk about kink without talking about fetish at the same time. They’re intertwined with each other, but they’re not the same thing. That’s why it’s important to know the difference between the two things when you talk about them. Far too many people use the terms interchangeably, but that’s not accurate and it can lead to a lot of misunderstanding.
Here’s a theoretical scenario for you: Let’s say you’re talking to a new person from All about Kink and you bring up your belief that you have a fetish for anal sex. What you think you’re saying to the other person and how they take your meaning are likely going to be two very different things. If you want to know the difference then you have to take a look at the actual definition of the word first.
Fetish in the Dictionary
According to the actual dictionary, you know, the Merriam-Webster one, Fetish is:
1. A an object (such as a small stone carving of an animal) believed to have magical power to protect or aid its owner
broadly : a material object regarded with superstitious or extravagant trust or reverence
B: an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion: PREPOSSESSION
C: an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression
2. Fixation
3. a rite or cult of fetish worshippers
What it means
Okay, so let’s forget about the part where it’s a magical stone. That’s not important to what we’re doing here. The part that we really have to focus on is : “an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification”
That’s the part of the definition that means the most and where most of the misunderstanding comes from. You have to have a psychological necessity of this object or body part to achieve sexual gratification. That’s saying a whole lot in a group of big words that the majority of people will completely ignore.
The Theoretical Conversation
Let’s go back to that theoretical conversation from the beginning. You just told another person from All about Kink that you have a fetish for anal sex. What you think you’re telling that person is that you enjoy anal sex. That’s not what the other person is hearing, though. That other person is a member of All about Kink and just naturally intelligent. That person knows that what you’re actually saying is that you’re physically unable to achieve orgasm, or sexual gratification, without anal sex.
What you think you’re telling them is that you enjoy it. What you’re saying is that you physically need it to cum. That’s the kind of difference that you need to understand. The knowledge of that difference is something you have to share and practice on a constant basis.
The users of All about Kink are a smart breed and it’s a much difference experience than you’re used to. The other sites can’t odder you access to a group of people like this. We’re not here to waste time blow smoke. You conversation that you can get here is measured and intelligent. You just have to understand what you’re saying and you’ll be all set here.
The History
Just for a little bit of fun, here’s the history of the word “Fetish”:
“When fetish first appeared in English in the early 17th century, it referred to objects (often amulets) believed by certain West Africans to have supernatural powers. During the 19th century, the word took on a broader meaning: “an object of irrational devotion or reverence.” The object need not be physical: a person may have a fetish for an idea, such as an unwarranted belief that a particular economic system will solve society’s ills. By the early 20th century, fetish took on yet another meaning quite distinct from its antecedents: a sexualized desire for an object (such as a shoe) or for a body part that is not directly related to the reproductive act (such as an earlobe).
That’s a whole lot of wiggle room when it comes to what can actually be considered a fetish! As long as you understand what it is and what yours happen to be, you’re going to have a lot of fun with it! Now you just have to find someone that shares it with you to have a good time!