There’s no way to talk about kink and fetish without talking about sexual fantasies at the same time. It can very easily seem like men and women are just destined to have different fantasies. This can lead to a relationship where neither partner is ever fully satisfied with their sex lives. If you’re married to someone then you want to be able to experience all of your sexual fantasies with them. That should never just be for the shared fantasies that you have. Every partner in a relationship should put in the effort to please the other person, as long as it’s within reason.

It should be noted that the most common fantasies are usually held by vanilla people. These are men and women that don’t need fetish or kink to be satisfied. If you’re talking about a kinky person then the list is pretty different. We’re going to try and take a look at as many fantasies as we can to see what people are thinking about at night. You’ll most likely share some and not others. That’s okay. As it’s always stated here at, everyone is welcome, no matter what gets you off or how rough you like it!

Most Common Fantasies among Vanilla Women

There was a scientific study done not too long ago that looked at the 10 most common fantasies among women. There’s really nothing surprising in it:

  1. Sex in a romantic location (84.9%)
  2. Sex in an unusual place (81.7%)
  3. Taking part in oral sex (78.5%)
  4. Performing fellatio (72.1%)
  5. Getting a handjob from your partner (71.4%)
  6. Giving a handjob to your partner (68.1%)
  7. Sex with someone you know other than your spouse (66.3%)
  8. Being dominated (64.6%)
  9. Sex in a public place (57.3%)
  10. Sex with more than three people, both men and women (56.5%)

The same study also looked at the 10 least common sexual fantasies among vanilla women:

  1. Swinging with a couple you know (17.5%)
  2. Getting naked or partially naked in public space (16.6%)
  3. Sex with a prostitute or stripper (12.5%) (12)
  4. Sex with a woman with very small breasts (10.8%)
  5. Sex with someone who is drunk, asleep, or unconscious (10.8%)
  6. Forcing someone to have sex (10.8%)
  7. Cross-dressing (6.9%)
  8. Urinating on your sexual partner or getting urinated on (3.5%)
  9. Having sex with an animal (3.0%)
  10. Having sex with a child under the age of 12 (0.8%)

Once again, there’s nothing too surprising there. It shouldn’t come as a shock that most vanilla women are uninterested in having sex with an animal or pissing on someone.

However, things get a little more interesting when you take a look at the 10 most common fantasies among vanilla men. Some of these might actually surprise you:

  1. Taking part in oral sex (87.6%)
  2. Sex with two women (84.5%)
  3. Sex with someone you know other than your spouse (83.4%)
  4. Sex in an unusual place (82.3%)
  5. Watching two women have sex (82.1%)
  6. Ejaculating on your sexual partner (80.4%)
  7. Sex in a romantic location (78.4%)
  8. Performing cunnilingus (78.1%)
  9. Fingering your partner (76.4%)
  10. Sex with more than three women (75.3%)

As you can see, men and women might not be as different as you think! It turns out that lots and lots of men and women simply fantasize about sexually pleasing their partners. 78.5% of women and 87.6% of men just want to suck on their partners’ genitals for a while. 68.1% of women fantasize about jerking their partners off while 76.4% of men fantasize about fingering their partners.

It’s important to realize that these fantasies aren’t about other people, strangers, or celebrities. Men and women are literally just fantasizing about getting their partners off and that’s a very good sign! Now we can take a look at the 10 least common fantasies among vanilla men:

  1. Forcing someone to have sex (22.0%)
  2. Having gay sex (20.6%)
  3. Watching two men have sex (16.2%)
  4. Sex with more than three people, both men and women (15.8%)
  5. Sex with more than three people, all men (13.1%)
  6. Cross-dressing (10.0%)
  7. Getting urinated on (10.0%)
  8. Urinating on sexual partner (8.9%)
  9. Having sex with an animal (2.2%)
  10. Having sex with a child under the age of 12 (1.8%)

There, you see that? Even the least common fantasies have a lot in common. You can easily see from the numbers that almost no one wants to pee on anyone or get peed on. There are also very few men that want to have sex with an animal. That’s pretty encouraging when you get down to it! If we can manage to spend more time thinking about what we have in common with each other, sex can be really great!

What it Means

What all this means is that you don’t have to go around feeling like your sex life is totally unsatisfied. All it takes is having an open and honest relationship where you can talk about the things that you want and the things that you don’t want. You’re going to see, pretty quickly, that you both have a lot in common with each other. The next time you’re fantasizing about something, come up with a way to talk about it with your partner. That’s the first step toward living it out!

Most importantly, don’t just start peeing on someone! It may seem like a good idea at the time, but almost no one is actually fantasizing about that! If it’s something you want to do then it’s going to take some time and many discussions. Your best bet is to focus on sexually pleasing your partner and letting them sexually please you in return. That’s the launching pad for a relationship that leaves you both fully satisfied at the end of the day. Then you can start talking about peeing on each other and see how it all goes!

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